TAP Journey - He's the One

Picking up from where we left off, just a few weeks before leaving for Africa, we started dating again, even hinted at marriage. Africa was INCREDIBLE! All I had dreamt of, and more! All the things I got to see and experience while I was over there was everything I had hoped, and Nick and I had definitely fallen. So romantic, right? Our families wouldn't have been shocked if we would've come back engaged, but we didn't. We got home and 4 days later Nick left to Ohio to sell the rest of the summer. Did the whole long distance thing, I went out and visited him, he came home, and a month later we were engaged. 

We planned a 3 month engagement, just enough time for me to be bangin' on my wedding day! I met some new people who were trainers and they were amazing! I worked out with them 5 mornings a week, I was always sore, didn't miss a workout, and got a lot stronger, but no weight came off. Not because of anything they were or weren't doing, but because I still demanded perfection. When it came to eating, I sabotaged myself. Same cycle, I would eat great half the day, take one bite of something 'not perfect', so then I had the go ahead to eat 'imperfect' the rest of the day because I WAS going to be PERFECT tomorrow. I would literally raid the fridge and pantry before I went to bed and eat whatever because it was going to be my LAST time ever eating it.

Needless to say, the wedding day came and my worst fear came true. I wasn't what I had pictured myself to be. I hated taking pictures and video because I didn't want to see myself. I have never been as upset with myself as when I was looking through my bridal pictures with my photographer a week before the wedding picking out which ones to edit and blow up. Are you kidding?!? I wanted all of them to be thrown away, let alone blow any up so I'd look even bigger!

are you joking me right now? It's been so long since I've looked at these I can't even believe it!

I felt even worse taking pics on the honeymoon because now I had to be in a swim suit, so I resorted to big expression faces so people would hopefully look at that ridiculousness instead of my body. 

ps-putting your hands on your hips totally makes you look thinner...riiiiiiiigghht.

 I know my outfit is to die for...oh my gosh, what was I thinking? Haha glad I can laugh about it now. Anyways, we're married and that solves all my self-doubt and worth issues, right? WRONG! I still felt unworthy of Nick. Not just in the normal, 'how did I get so lucky' or 'what did I ever do to deserve him' ways, like I seriously thought it was some kind of joke everyone was playing on me and there was NO WAY he really wanted to be married to me, like what did I even have to offer? I was extremely insecure in our relationship and NONE of that came from anything Nick did. He was always soooo sweet and kind and complimentary and uplifting and perfect. I put all of those feelings upon myself. I remember our first argument was about 4 months after being married because I was telling him how he didn't want me...makes a lot of sense, I know. Things slowly got better, I shared my health and fitness goals with him, we worked out every day together, and were working together towards those goals but I never looked any different. Now, I would always let him see me eat healthy stuff that was 'allowed', but would sneak everything else and wouldn't let him see me eat anything bad. Anytime we weren't together, I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted. He was getting closer to his goals, but I wasn't. More arguments over me telling him he didn't want me continued to come up every now and then, and I couldn't shake the dishonesty of my eating habits.

'H'ear it Wednesday

So I totally got wrapped up and forgot to post the previous one yesterday, the joys of motherhood, right? So here's a second one for the day!

Wanted to share with you some of the regulars that play on my shuffle. I normally cannot listen to most of these songs just during the day or driving in my car, but for some reason when I'm in beast mode, they are awesome! If I feel like I can't go any harder, and one of these start playing, it's crazy how that huge burst of energy comes to finish. Try it!! Even this article proves it!

Radioactive - Imagine Dragons
Radar (Bloodshy&Avant Remix) - Britney Spears
Dog Days are Over - Florence and the Machine
Best of You - Foo Fighters
Cry me a River - Justin Timberlake
Power - Kanye West
Stronger - Kanye West
Fighter - Christina Aguilera
Lights(Bassnectar Remix) - Ellie Goulding 
Let's Go - Lil' Jon

HAPPY LISTENING!!

keep on keepin' on

GOAL CHECK-IN: Monday 4.5 Camelbacks 

[what did you drink?]

Today we go to Norah's first 2 hour Physical Therapy appointment, don't know what they're going to do for that long, I'm pretty nervous because it cuts right in to when she usually naps, plus getting forced around I don't think will make her a happy camper.

Nick had to be in to work early early early, so we're going to go to the gym later this afternoon after Norah's PT. Can I just tell you I love working out with my husband, but I love working out in the AM! I love just being done with it and feeling the benefits of it all day. Leaving it to later in the day seems to always push it back, squeezed in, not as productive, and sometimes doesn't even happen. So, for me, mornings are always the way to go! I've had to do it at night the last 5 days, and it hasn't been very fun, but you just gotta do it. 

The last 2 weeks or so have been pretty difficult emotionally and physically. I was sick, had to get mouth surgery, Norah's been cutting teeth, throwing up, blowing out, life has been happening and it's been a little rough. I knowI've been a lot more lax about treats and not doing things to move toward my goals, and I can see it. That's the annoying thing about fitness, you can work so hard and be so good for however long, then you slack just a little bit, and it's almost like half of your results from your hard work go away. Am I right? The tough thing to do, is not get too discouraged about it. Recognize that's the way it goes, I made these choices, and now it's time to get back on track. There's nothing worse than just giving up and feeling 239871 times worse about yourself for stopping, when you knew how good it all felt! So KEEP GOING!! Really, I'm just talking to myself, but you feel this way sometimes, right?? Please tell me I'm not the only one! 

Funny, I was going to get on here and give you a workout, but now I rambled on about that whole thing....

So have I told you about the Bootcamp I've been going to for the last month that I'm OBSESSED   with?? Be on the look out for a special collaboration coming up! More details on the fitness challenge I just did with them last month and how I got hooked!

Goal of the Week

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend! Mine consisted of taking care of a sick, teething baby, so needless to say I was extremely busy doing basically nothing...one of the best feelings, right? NOT! No matter what though, I made time to exercise, and I can tell you I would be a different monster mom and wife if I didn't get those workouts in. It definitely makes a MAJOR difference in my mood and attitude toward whatever happens in a day.

In case you didn't know, I am also a Master Aesthetician, and I have seen the same thing in the vast majority of my clients lately...dryness which also causes some breakouts. The fall is here again, which means skin changes for sure. One major thing to not only help get over the weather transition...H2O!!! Water helps with anything and everything you can think of, especially when it comes to every aspect of health, weight-loss, weight management, the list goes on and on and on.

It is recommended to drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. However, for what I'm trying to accomplish-body fat loss, muscle tone and definition, I'll drink at least 4 of these a day, being right around 100 oz. Honestly, I don't drink anything else, and if you're seriously wanting to see results, that's all you should drink, too. Now I'm not a water nazi, if you're dying to drink your favorite drink, then go ahead, just fill up your Camelback an extra time with water to help flush it out. My water bottle is seriously my secret to getting in my necessary amount of water every day.

NOW FOR THE GOAL OF THE WEEK...

For Starters: Drink half your body weight (in ounces) of water (150 lbs {150/2=75} 75 oz of water a day)

For Pros: 5 Camelback's (125 oz)

via

I'll be checking in! Ready, set, Pee!

Wear it Wednesday - Lulu Lemon

Anyone ever tried Lulu's stuff? Beware if you haven't, because you'll probably become obsessed. I'm in love with their products. Mainly the fact that they keep their shape, squeeze you in, somehow keep you warm but cool all at the same time, and are ridiculously cute! I sold my soul back on my birthday this year when my hubs took me there for a little shopping. Since then, I have saved my pennies for every purchase, why? Because it's totally worth it and they'll seriously last forever! And don't ask me why, but me in workout clothes is my husband's favorite. So I guess that's how we justify it haha. 

These were some of my first purchases...

crops

jacket

I die over all their clothes, but I'm currently lusting over these numbers.

Boogie Shorts

pants

Tank

Love Lulu! Hope you have a lovely Wednesday!

Fage (fa-hey)!!

Please forgive the lack of and similar posts, I got surgery yesterday and just got back from taking little Norah to the Dr where she threw up, got her vaccinations, and we learned she will have to wear one of these for at least 3 months. I'm just so grateful she's completely healthy and such a happy little girl! So it's been a little crazy around amongst other things so here's a quick little snack idea for you too. yummy, easy, extremely healthy, and packed with 23g of protein in 1 serving!

1 cup Fage

1/2 mango and banana 

I pick up my big carton of Fage at Costco for under $5 and it's by far the cheapest place to get it

You can add whatever type of fruit you want, I have been obsessed with mangos lately and it tastes amazing with it! Mangos are a little higher on the sugary side so try and stick to fruits high in antioxidants for a real healthy boost like blueberries, raspberries, and pomegranates are coming in season, do whatever you want! 

Happy Healthy Tuesday!

Go-To Packaged Snacks

Typically, I say eat 'real food', but let's be honest, sometimes (majority of the time) it's difficult to put together 5-6 meals for yourself, let alone a family. So here are my 2 main "Go-To's". Not only are they packed with protein and good ratios, but they are YUMMY! I seriously crave them everyday! These are perfect for a snack that you have to eat on the go, and something that definitely curbs my sweet tooth.

thinkThin bars are definitely my fave! They're gluten free, 20g of protein, and no sugar. Plus, I think they taste amazing. My two favorite flavors are white chocolate and chocolate fudge. Some of the others that you would think would taste good, I didn't like so much, so I just stick with these. These get me through when I have that sweet tooth craving in the late afternoon, so I usually save it for my afternoon snack. I find mine at Sprouts or Whole Foods.

These Premier Protein shakes are bomb, too! where else can you get 30g of protein, 160 calories, and amazing, chocolatey goodness all in one? These are the best! I haven't tried the vanilla flavor, I'm too chicken to go away from the chocolate. So if anyone has tried them, let me know. I pick these up at Costco, and I get them about every 2 weeks, super good deal! If I ever see anyone buy those Kirkland Weight Loss shakes I will come hunt you down, don't waste your money! 

So if you're looking for some good options for snacks that will keep your stomach, body, and tastebuds satisfied, here ya go! Let me know what you think about them and have a great weekend!

Wear It Wednesday - Skinny Jeans

I'm not exactly talking about the skinny jeans that squeeze every bit of you down to your ankles ( although, I do love wearing them, especially with boots in the fall). I'm talking about your personal pair of "skinny" jeans that I know all of us have! That pair of "one day", "I wish", "I used to fit in these", "I feel so hot" jeans. I have tried mine on numerous times, some sevens that I wore all the time my Sophomore year...in high school. After I blossomed, of course, no way I could or want to fit into kid's size jeans anymore.

Anyways, I tried mine on yesterday, along with another pair of William Rast's that I bought as 'goal pants' after I graduated with my Masters in Aesthetics. I was getting dressed to go run some errands with my husband the other day and slipped the latter pair of "skinny" pants on....

Needless to say, they didn't fit. Like, they weren't even cute at all! Saggy bum, dragging across the floor, literally hanging off me. I walked out to show my husband and his jaw dropped and saddened a little bit. He said, "oh no, I loved those pants. Those were my favorite on you." But he was quickly over it when he made me super happy by saying, "well, I guess we have to go get you some new ones!" Yes, please!

Then I went in and tried on the Sophomore year pants...

They totally fit, weren't even squeezing my sides which is always my problem area. Sadly, my style has changed since then so I don't really like them as much as I did years ago, but it still felt awesome! Putting those on and being able to tell my husband I haven't worn these since sophomore year, to which he replied, "of college?".."no, of HIGH SCHOOL", and to see his face was worth every bit of it. Not to mention the new jeans I will be getting soon;)! 

So make the decisions and take the actions that will get you into your "skinnies". There's not a better feeling! Every early morning, every skipped treat, every moment you wanted to stop, every sprint, every healthy meal you didn't feel like eating....Everything that feels like a sacrifice in the moment, PAYS OFF, and I know there is no way you will regret it!

via The After Picture on Pinterest

30 - 60 - 90 HIIT

This week is off week from BOOTCAMP so it was back to the gym for me. It was so hard going back there after being used to just being told what to do, when to do it, and had others there pushing me. It's a whole different ball game trying to push yourself and facing the annoying gym scene....really not my fave. But I went anyways since I totally lived it up yesterday, gotta love Sundays! I did a different rendition of the High Intensity Interval Training than I usually do. It was new to me and challenging, so I wanted to share it with you. You're in and out in under 30 minutes, you'll sweat like crazy, and you'll be DONE!

You can adjust the MPH as needed, this is just what I did. It's just important that you really push yourself and are sprinting in the Hi parts, going a little faster than a jog in the Mid, and not just slowly walking in the Lo, you want it to be a brisk/speed walk.

It's important to warm up and cool down for about 5 minutes before and after. I always like to stretch and walk for a couple minutes when doing HIIT.

www.theafterpictureblog.blogspot.com

Doing this three times a week will aid in accelerated fat loss and increase your cardiovascular strength.

GO HIIT IT!

TAP Journey - Freshman 15

Remember how I said eating and health is totally emotional? Yeah it is, so don't judge me based off this post and what mattered to me as an 18 year old, please?? K, thanks.


A week after I graduated high school in AZ, my parents moved me up to Utah to live with friends and find a new scene, mainly to get me away from a boy.  I was struggling majorly with my self-esteem. I had a hard time letting go of my previous relationship, I think particularly because I'd wish and hope I could have better than him, but didn't get asked out on a date...like, ever...so I believed more and more that he was the best I could do, and even he didn't want me anymore. My gorgeous roommates, friends, and their dogs were all getting asked out, so clearly I was hideous and didn't have anything to offer. These thoughts consumed me. The dreaded Freshman 15 pounded up all too quick on me. Like within the first semester...Hello! I still went to the gym everyday, ate perfect up until lunch,  always 'on a diet', even paid for a trainer hoping that would keep me accountable. But the late night outings, 5 hours of sleep, 2 am pancakes, nachos, and oreo bon bons were not helping my cause. The food always won. I still remember before I would take the first step to 'cheating' and while continuing to eat, always hearing this in my head, "no one wants you, you have no one to look good for, you're worthless anyway." Oh so clearly can I remember those hauntings. This is seriously pathetic, but exactly the way it was.

Now I can hardly find any pictures from Freshman year, but here are just a few. I remember always wearing hoodies and jackets to try and cover up my tummy.

Just before New Year's, Nick Hansen, my brother's best friend and my DREAM guy, asked me out on a date. How the heck did that happen? Yeah, I didn't believe it either. Now this is the extremely short version, but basically he picked me up, had a blast, and ended the night by him telling me I could go back to Africa with him when he was leaving the coming May. Seriously, my dreams were coming true; being out with Nick and FINALLY after dreaming about doing humanitarian work in Africa my entire life, it was going to happen! So we hung out a lot for about 2 weeks, kissed during that time, and then after a really fun night he told me he didn't want to get into a relationship right now and really liked how we were just friends....he likes to leave this part of the story out of it, but it adds to what I'm trying to share. In short, he was dating another girl I knew the following week. So all the thoughts I had about myself were confirmed. High school boy WAS the best I could do, of course Nick Hansen didn't want me, what was I thinking even getting my hopes up?! We stayed "just friends" for a couple months while we bought our tickets to Africa, went to the gym together, and still saw each other thru different things, but it was nothing. The vicious cycle continued. Food kept winning.

Most important meal of the DAY

Sorry it's been a couple days...where do the days go?!!? Haha anyways, this is what I just had for breakfast and I seriously crave these eggs and salsa every single day! Then switch it up with either a wheat tortilla, steel cut oats, or some kind of fruit, most likely an apple.

Breakfast is HANDS down the most important meal of the day!! It's what jump starts your metabolism and helps keep you from getting that afternoon drag, and too many other benefits that it would get boring if I listed them all. So just trust me on this one, and eat SOMETHING before you start your day!  If you are one of those people that just runs out the door without time to think, grab one of these with an apple, banana, something! OK? Then polish it off with a tall glass a water. Ok, Thanks! 

My personal breakfast of choice: 

3 egg whites / 1 whole egg 

1 cheesestick shredded and mixed in while it's still on the stove

Jack's salsa to taste

All these products you can get at Costco for the best deal.

Now, go EAT BREAKFAST!!

"Before"

Remember when I talked about the vulnerable and exposing part about this blog? Yeah, this is the main part of it. These first ones were taken a little before 10 weeks post-birth and I remember trying to not make them look so bad...and these are still BAD! I also remember feeling a little better about the way I looked because I had gotten to workout the last couple weeks and felt improved. Eeeek...do I really need to go through this whole process mulitple times?!?! Don't mind my unclothed little baby in the background haha, the early days of tummy time:) And don't mind my ridiculous 'in-the-mirror' pictures, I have only remembered to take them while my husband's been here one time, so this is what I have to resort to. And let's be honest, I wasn't feelin' too sexy here and didn't really want my husband looking at me like this. So here it is, my "Before".

Hips- 39 inches                                                    

Waist- 37.5 inches                                              

R Thigh- 22.5 inches                                          

L Thigh- 22.5 inches                                          

R Arm- 12 inches                                                

L Arm- 12 inches                                                  

Weight-157                                                      

Happy Monday!

Hope you all had a great weekend! Mine was great and got to spend some time with my oldest sister, Kristi. She is letting me be her 'coach' for the next little bit and I'll be sharing her results on here as well.  She is going to be filming for House Hunters at the end of the month, being the realtor for my brother and sister-in-law that got on the show. Pretty exciting! So Friday she came to me and asked for some tips, a meal plan, workouts, and a grocery outing so she can get all her necessities. Saturday we faced the craziness of Costco and other stores to make sure she was properly stocked. It was seriously the funnest thing ever for me! I loved it way too much!! Pretty sure I could do that as a full time job and never get sick of it! Be looking out for her starting progress too.

In other news, I have some exciting things in the works and can not wait to share them with you! What would you all think about me having a "Daily Log" that was short and sweet of what I did for my workout and then what I ate that day. I always want to know what it is exactly that people do every day to see the results they do, so if I'm weird and that's totally something that wouldn't be helpful at all, please let me know.

How'd you do this weekend? That note of my cookie dough worked like a charm! Made good choices, and had some dessert which I say go for it. It's not healthy to deprive yourself and it's not healthy to over do it when you allow yourself that freedom, it's just something you have to gauge yourself. I always know I did it right when I still feel good after eating, and not like, "oh dangit, what did I just do." Soon enough you'll find that once you've been eating cleaner and working harder, that stuff will be less appealing to you and you'll feel worse quicker because it's simply stuff your body doesn't need. Find that gauge for yourself and eat happy!

via Pinterest

Get ready for the Progress page update today!